(left-hand side of Active Reader=The Fourth of July)

(right-hand side = Vocab definitions, synonyms, prompts)

The first time I went to Washington, D.C., was on the edge of the summer when I was supposed to stop being a child. At least that’s what they said to us all at graduation from the eighth grade. My sister Phyllis graduated at the same time from high school. I don’t know what she was supposed to stop being. But as graduation presents for us both, the whole family took a Fourth of July trip to Washington, D.C., the fabled and famous capital of our country.

It was the first time I’d ever been on a railroad train during the day. When I was little, and we used to go to the Connecticut shore, we always went at night on the milk train, because it was cheaper.

Preparations were in the air around our house before school was even over. We packed for a week. There were two very large suitcases that my father carried, and a box filled with food. In fact, my first trip to Washington was a mobile feast; I started eating as soon as we were comfortably ensconced in our seats, and did not stop until somewhere after Philadelphia. I remember it was Philadelphia because I was disappointed not to have passed by the Liberty Bell.

My mother had roasted two chickens and cut them up into dainty bite-size pieces. She packed slices of brown bread and butter and green pepper and carrot sticks. There were little violently yellow iced cakes with scalloped edges called “marigolds,” that came from Cushman’s Bakery. There was a spice bun and rock cakes from Newton’s, the West Indian bakery across Lenox Avenue from St. Mark’s School, and iced tea in a wrapped mayonnaise jar. There were sweet pickles for us and dill pickles for my father, and peaches with the fuzz still on them, individually wrapped to keep them from bruising. And, for neatness, there were piles of napkins and a little tin box with a washcloth dampened with rosewater and glycerine for wiping sticky mouths.

Washington, D.C. (proper noun): The capital of the United States of America. D.C. stands for District of Columbia. Interestingly, Washington, D.C. is not a part of any U.S. state; it is a separate district controlled by the U.S. Congress.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

edge (noun): A line, real or implied, where one thing ends and another thing begins.; synonyms: border, outline; prompts: unknown word

Fourth of July (proper noun): A federal United States holiday that celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. On this day, the American colonies declared their independence from Great Britain.; synonyms: Independence Day; prompts: unknown proper noun

fabled (adjective): Describes something that is widely known. Can also describe something about which many stories are told.; synonyms: famous, mythical, legendary; prompts: unknown word

Connecticut (proper noun): A small U.S. state that is part of the New England region of the northeastern part of the country.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

milk train (noun): A train that frequently stops at most of the stations along its route. In past times, milk trains ran daily bringing fresh milk from local dairy farms to towns.; synonyms: local train; prompts: unknown term

preparations (noun): Work done to get ready for an event.; synonyms: arrangements; prompts: unknown word

mobile (adjective): Describes something that is able to move from one place to another.; synonyms: portable, moving; prompts: unknown word

ensconced (verb): To be placed somewhere safely and securely.; synonyms: situated; prompts: unknown word

Philadelphia (proper noun): A city in the U.S. state of Pennsylvania. It is the second-largest city on the East Coast. It is known as "The City of Brotherly Love."; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

Liberty Bell (proper noun): A large tower bell located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania that has become an iconic symbol of American Independence. Made in 1752, it is believed to be one of the bells rung to mark the reading of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

dainty (adjective): Describes something that is delicately small.; synonyms: petite; prompts: unknown word

violently (adverb): Extremely or aggressively. (In this case, the cakes were very bright yellow in color.); synonyms: intensely; prompts: unknown word

scalloped (adjective): Describes something that has a row of similar decorative curves around its edges.; synonyms: ornate; prompts: unknown word

spice bun (noun): A sweet, shaped bread roll containing spices such as cinnamon or nutmeg, sometimes with dried fruits, like raisins.; synonyms: sweet roll; prompts: unknown term

rock cakes (noun): A small, hard fruit cake with a rough surface that makes the cake look like a rock.; synonyms: fruit cake, rock bun; prompts: unknown term

rosewater (noun): A distilled liquid that is made from fragrant rose petals. It is considered to have antibacterial properties, so it is often used to wash the hands. Rosewater has many other purposes, ranging from use in ethnic foods to use in perfumes, cosmetic purposes, and even religious cleansing.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown word

glycerine (noun): A thick, clear liquid made from sugars often used in cosmetics. (In this case, it is combined with rosewater for the purpose of washing the hands and face. Lorde uses an older spelling of the word with the added ‘e’ at the end.); synonyms: glycerol; prompts: unknown word

I wanted to eat in the dining car because I had read all about them, but my mother reminded me for the umpteenth time that dining car food always cost too much money and besides, you never could tell whose hands had been playing all over that food, nor where those same hands had been just before. My mother never mentioned that black people were not allowed into railroad dining cars headed south in 1947. As usual, whatever my mother did not like and could not change, she ignored. Perhaps it would go away, deprived of her attention.

I learned later that Phyllis’s high school senior class trip had been to Washington, but the nuns had given her back her deposit in private, explaining to her that the class, all of whom were white, except Phyllis, would be staying in a hotel where Phyllis “would not be happy,” meaning, Daddy explained to her, also in private, that they did not rent rooms to Negroes. “We will take you to Washington, ourselves,” my father had avowed, “and not just for an overnight in some measly fleabag hotel.”

American racism was a new and crushing reality that my parents had to deal with every day of their lives once they came to this country. They handled it as a private woe. My mother and father believed that they could best protect their children from the realities of race in America and the fact of American racism by never giving them name, much less discussing their nature. We were told we must never trust white people, but why was never explained, nor the nature of their ill will. Like so many other vital pieces of information in my childhood, I was supposed to know without being told. It always seemed like a very strange injunction coming from my mother, who looked so much like one of those people we were never supposed to trust. But something always warned me not to ask my mother why she wasn’t white, and why Auntie Lillah and Auntie Etta weren’t, even though they were all that same problematic color so different from my father and me, even from my sisters, who were somewhere in between.

umpteenth (adjective): Describes something that has occurred many times.; synonyms: numerous; prompts: unknown word

deprived (adjective): Describes something that has been denied attention.; synonyms: ignored; prompts: unknown word

nuns (noun): Members of a female religious order who choose to live a simple life, serve God and others, and remain unmarried. Some nuns are teachers, especially in private religious schools.; synonyms: religious sisters; prompts: unknown word

deposit (noun): A portion of money that is paid in advance when you agree to buy something. (In this case, the deposit was money paid in advance of a trip that one of the characters was not allowed to attend.); synonyms: down payment, retainer, partial payment; prompts: unknown word

Negroes (noun): A dated term for people of African descent, now considered offensive. During the Civil Rights Movement in the 1950s and 1960s, some African-American leaders embraced the term, while others objected to it. No longer in common use, the word is primarily used in an historic context.; synonyms: African-American, Black; prompts: unknown word

measly (adjective): Describes something that is insignificant or unnecessarily small.; synonyms: meager; prompts: unknown word

fleabag (adjective): Describes a place or thing that is run-down and seedy.; synonyms: dirty, cheap; prompts: unknown word

racism (noun): Discrimination or prejudice based on race; hatred or intolerance of another race or races.; synonyms: prejudice, bigotry; prompts: unknown word

woe (noun): A feeling of sadness or emotional pain.; synonyms: sorrow; prompts: unknown word

ill will (noun): Actions or feelings of animosity or hatred. Wishing harm would come to someone.; synonyms: hostility, hatred; prompts: unknown term

vital (adjective): Describes something that is extremely important or essential.; synonyms: crucial, critical; prompts: unknown word

injunction (noun): A warning or command from a figure of authority.; synonyms: directive, order; prompts: unknown word

problematic (adjective): Describes something that is puzzling or hard to understand.; synonyms: difficult; prompts: unknown word

In Washington, D.C., we had one large room with two double beds and an extra cot for me. It was a back-street hotel that belonged to a friend of my father’s who was in real estate, and I spent the whole next day after Mass squinting up at the Lincoln Memorial where Marian Anderson had sung after the D.A.R. refused to allow her to sing in their auditorium because she was black. Or because she was “Colored,” my father said as he told us the story. Except that what he probably said was “Negro,” because for his times, my father was quite progressive.

I was squinting because I was in that silent agony that characterized all of my childhood summers, from the time school let out in June to the end of July, brought about by my dilated and vulnerable eyes exposed to the summer brightness.

I viewed Julys through an agonizing corolla of dazzling whiteness and I always hated the Fourth of July, even before I came to realize the travesty such a celebration was for black people in this country.

My parents did not approve of sunglasses, nor of their expense.

I spent the afternoon squinting up at monuments to freedom and past presidencies and democracy, and wondering why the light and heat were both so much stronger in Washington, D.C., than back home in New York City. Even the pavement on the streets was a shade lighter in color than back home.

back-street (adjective): Describes something that is not on a main street. (In this case, it describes a hotel that is not fancy or popular.); synonyms: side-street; prompts: unknown term

real estate (noun): The business of buying, selling, and renting houses and properties.; synonyms: realty; prompts: unknown word

squinting (verb): Closing one's eyes partially when looking at something. (In this case, the author squints as a reaction to the strong light.); synonyms: narrow the eyes; prompts: unknown word

Lincoln Memorial (proper noun): An American national monument in Washington, D.C. built to honor President Abraham Lincoln. The monument includes a giant seated sculpture of Lincoln, who led the U.S. during the American Civil War, preserved the Union, and abolished slavery.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

Marian Anderson (proper noun): Highly acclaimed African-American opera singer. She sang at the Lincoln Memorial on Easter Sunday in 1939 after being denied permission to sing for an integrated audience at Constitution Hall. She later sang at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963 where Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

D.A.R. (abbreviation): Stands for Daughters of the American Revolution. The group is a membership-based organization for women who have direct lineage from a person involved in the American Revolution, such as signers of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, military veterans of the Revolutionary War, or others who gave support to the cause.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown term

Colored (adjective): Describes someone of African decent. Today, ‘colored’ is considered a derogatory term and a reminder of segregation and the protests during the Civil Rights Movement in the 1950s and 1960s.; synonyms: Negro, Black; prompts: unknown term

progressive (adjective): Describes someone who favors modern political or educational ideas or theories.; synonyms: liberal; prompts: unknown word

agony (noun): A terrible feeling of physical, mental, or emotional pain.; synonyms: torment, anguish; prompts: unknown word

dilated (adjective): Describes something that has become larger or wider. When the eyes are dilated, they are more sensitive to light.; synonyms: widen, more open; prompts: unknown word

vulnerable (adjective): Describes something that is unprotected and open to attack or damage, either emotional or physical.; synonyms: defenseless; prompts: unknown word

exposed (verb): Something that is left unprotected and open to harm.; synonyms: to put at risk; prompts: unknown word

agonizing (adjective): Describes something that is extremely painful, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.; synonyms: excruciating; prompts: unknown word

corolla (noun): From the Latin word corona meaning: a white or colored circle of light seen around an object, such as the sun or moon. (The word is used to describe the intense brightness, heat, and intensity of the July sun. Lorde, who was legally blind, wanted to describe the way the light felt to her sensitive eyes.); synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown word

dazzling (adjective): Describes something of such brightness that it causes a person to briefly be unable to see.; synonyms: blinding, brilliant; prompts: unknown word

travesty (noun): Something that fails to do what is intended or expected; a misrepresentation or mockery of something.; synonyms: mockery, distortion; prompts: unknown word

celebration (noun): A special event, such as a party or festival, that marks an important occasion or holiday. As an example, a birthday party is a type of celebration.; synonyms: party, commemoration; prompts: unknown word

democracy (noun): A form of government where leaders are chosen by the people they represent.; synonyms: representative government; prompts: unknown word

pavement (noun): A hard, smooth surface of a road or walkway.; synonyms: concrete; prompts: unknown word

Late that Washington afternoon my family and I walked back down Pennsylvania Avenue. We were a proper caravan, mother bright and father brown, the three of us girls step-standards in between. Moved by our historical surroundings and the heat of early evening, my father decreed yet another treat. He had a great sense of history, a flair for the quietly dramatic and the sense of specialness of an occasion and a trip.

“Shall we stop and have a little something to cool off, Lin?”

Two blocks away from our hotel, the family stopped for a dish of vanilla ice cream at a Breyer’s ice cream and soda fountain. Indoors, the soda fountain was dim and fan-cooled, deliciously relieving to my scorched eyes.

Corded and crisp and pinafored, the five of us seated ourselves one by one at the counter. There was I between my mother and father, and my two sisters on the other side of my mother. We settled ourselves along the white mottled marble counter, and when the waitress spoke at first no one understood what she was saying, and so the five of us just sat there.

The waitress moved along the line of us closer to my father and spoke again. “I said I kin give you to take out, but you can’t eat here. Sorry.” Then she dropped her eyes looking very embarrassed, and suddenly we heard what it was she was saying all at the same time, loud and clear.

Pennsylvania Avenue (proper noun): A main street in Washington, D.C. that joins the White House with the United States Capitol building. It has been the location of official parades and protest marches, including the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963.; synonyms: America's Main Street; prompts: unknown proper noun

caravan (noun): A group of people, animals, or vehicles traveling together on a journey.; synonyms: procession; prompts: unknown word

step-standards (noun): Variations or deviations that display a range of color, height, weight, etc. (In this case, the author's father is dark-skinned while her mother is light-skinned. Their children are step-standards, or a mix of lighter and darker skin tones.); synonyms: variations; prompts: unknown term

decreed (verb): To make an order or statement in a formal way.; synonyms: proclaimed; prompts: unknown word

flair for the quietly dramatic (idiom): Someone who enjoys or who has a talent for making things seem special and exciting.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown phrase

soda fountain (noun): A type of ice cream parlor. From the 1930s to the 1950s soda fountains were popular places to have a light lunch or afternoon treat and socialize.; synonyms: malt shop; prompts: unknown term

corded and crisp and pinafored (idiom): Neatly dressed in nice clothing.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown phrase

mottled (adjective): Streaked or blotched with different shades or colors.; synonyms: streaked, multicolored; prompts: unknown word

kin (dialect spelling): "Kin" in this sentence means "can." The word is spelled out as it sounds when spoken by the person working at the soda fountain. It shows the dialect of the character, which the author says is hard to understand.; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown colloquialism

Straight-backed and indignant, one by one, my family and I got down from the counter stools and turned around and marched out of the store, quiet and outraged, as if we had never been black before. No one would answer my emphatic questions with anything other than a guilty silence. “But we hadn’t done anything!” This wasn’t right or fair! Hadn’t I written poems about Bataan and freedom and democracy for all?

My parents wouldn’t speak of this injustice, not because they had contributed to it, but because they felt they should have anticipated it and avoided it. This made me even angrier. My fury was not going to be acknowledged by a like fury. Even my two sisters copied my parents’ pretense that nothing unusual and anti-American had occurred. I was left to write my angry letter to the president of the United States all by myself, although my father did promise I could type it out on the office typewriter next week, after I showed it to him in my copybook diary.

The waitress was white, and the counter was white, and the ice cream I never ate in Washington, D.C., that summer I left childhood was white, and the white heat and the white pavement and the white stone monuments of my first Washington summer made me sick to my stomach for the whole rest of that trip and it wasn’t much of a graduation present after all.

indignant (adjective): Describes a feeling of anger due to unfair treatment.; synonyms: offended; prompts: unknown word

counter stools (noun): Tall seats used at a bar, which is a long, narrow surface where people are served at a restaurant or shop.; synonyms: bar stools; prompts: unknown term

outraged (verb): To be extremely angry.; synonyms: infuriated; prompts: unknown word

emphatic (adjective): Describes something that is expressed clearly and in a definite way.; synonyms: assertive, vehement; prompts: unknown word

Bataan (proper noun): Refers to the forced, deadly march of American and Filipino POWs during World War II through the Bataan Peninsula in the Philippines. (The author indicates that she wrote a patriotic poem honoring those who served there, titled Heroes of Bataan.) ; synonyms: n/a; prompts: unknown proper noun

injustice (noun): Unfair treatment or situation, especially when the rights of people are not upheld.; synonyms: unfairness, discrimination; prompts: unknown word

anticipated (verb): To think about what might happen ahead of time.; synonyms: expect, predict; prompts: unknown word

fury (noun): Intense, uncontrolled anger.; synonyms: wrath, rage; prompts: unknown word

acknowledged (verb): To be recognized or to admit the truth of.; synonyms: accepted; prompts: unknown word

pretense (noun): An explanation that is used to cover up the truth or real purpose of something.; synonyms: sham, a fake; prompts: unknown word

copybook diary (noun): A small notebook used for practicing handwriting and writing personal reflections.; synonyms: journal; prompts: unknown term